Buddha Purnima

“Chaos is inherent in all compounded things. Strive on with diligence”

“अराजकता सभी जटिल बातों में निहित है | परिश्रम के साथ प्रयास करते रहो |

Friendship day~

मेरी खूबियों को तराशने वाले
मुझसे मुझको मिलाने वाले
मेरे दोस्त, तुम ठंढी हवा का वो झोंका हो जिसे मैं कड़ी धुप में बेसब्री से ढूंढती हूँ
मुझमें ऐब हैं भारी, मैं हर बार अपने दिल की बात बोल नहीं पाती
छुई- मुई सा नाज़ुक मन, आहत पल भर में हो जाता और मैं कुछ कर नहीं पाती
मेरे दोस्त, तुम वो साया हो जो मेरे साथ मेरे कथित अपनों से ज़्यादा चला

क्या ये भी अजीब है, की हर रिश्ते में दोस्ती एहम है?
तुम कहाँ बस स्कूल-ओ-कॉलेजों के हमराही
कितने रूप में आये तुम
माँ, जिसने सीख भी दी और साथ भी
पापा, जो हर वक़्त हँसाते और हौसला बढ़ाते
मेरा नटखट भाई, दीदी का हमराज़ और हमारे किस्से हज़ार
वो पहला प्यार, और दोस्ती बना रिश्ते का आधार
वक़्त-बर-वक़्त आज़माइश भी होती है इस दोस्ती की
कभी मौसम, कभी शिकवे, कभी दूरी

दोस्त, क्या एक वादा करोगे?
मेरी खामियों और खूबियों से परे
मेरी नासमझियों और गलतियों से परे
मेरी रूह में झाकना
प्यार समेटे मैं हमेशा मिलूंगी
और गर ये न कर पाए
तो अतीत के पर्दों को उठा कर देखना
हमारे दोस्ती के पल इतने हसीं हैं
की कभी-न-कभी तुम मुझ तक अपना रास्ता ढूंढ हीं लोगे |

(c) swatistic

One day..

M a hoarder
Of memories
To curl up in its blanket when the winter comes
The beautiful sunsets, the harsh weathers
The uncharitable remarks, the unfeigned deeds
The affections and the indifferences I receive
The many conversations spun in my head
The vast universe that it creates and swallows me in
The crystallized apprehensions and the purest smiles
The songs and the smells and the sights
Spanning ages and the incomprehensible mind

For I am a hoarder of whys and what ifs
Held back frozen in multiple moments
With broken pieces of me and mine
The load in my head and heart
Aiding gravity in pulling me down
Repercussions far more pronounced

But one day I ll find a place in time
Where I ll check in and slowly unpack
Rummage the clutter to grab the good,
And leave the rest, silently closing the door behind
To walk away, to heal, and to smile


Weaver of words

(written on June 7, 2019)

Use them to channel my fears
Use them to hide my tears
Use them to wish folks on special days
Poems, my confidant for long nights and deep wounds

The flow of words unrestricted
The concocted rhythm and gentleness
Some see the day’s light
Most remain hidden in my folders and files

But the love they all give to the unheard voices
I pamper them alike
For I get the contentment that I most desire
Poems, my beautiful solace, when I weave words together

(my blog gets a post today because apparently, it’s my anniversary with WordPress ! hoping to document all what I have written during my inactive days because I was only dormant in posting, not in writing :))

Inay, by Christine


Writing is therapeutic. It helps you express your joy, come in terms with your pain (to some extent), and out-pour your feelings in general, without any inhibitions.

Writing helped me express my admiration to my mother when I wrote my first ever poem for her, and my love and respect for my father, which might have been difficult otherwise. When I visited Delhi, Agra, Mathura and Vrindavan for the first time with my family, writing helped me document the events capturing a little girl’s joy of exploring new places. It also allowed me to write the poems, not sure if weird or hilarious, easy to be passed as a kid’s work.  I found solace in putting everything down on a paper as rough-work and finally transferring them into my diary or notebook (replaced by a laptop, now), in the form of articles or poetry (mostly). For someone like me who wasn’t too comfortable being vocal about her feelings (happy or sad), writing proved to be the most natural habit. Being vocal (still in a restrained, over-thoughtful manner) is a skill that I only started imbibing after my first ever hostel experience when I wrote to feel closer to my family members who were 65 kms away from me. I used to occasionally post letters to my baby sibling to encourage him for his studies and be supportive of his routine life which, in one way, had turned void due to my physical absence from it. I wrote several notes to my parents (esp. Mom), all buried safely in my diary, which upon discovery last year, was taken in possession by her. I had carefully stapled the now-unstapled pages where my words were too emotional. I let her do so because she insisted me with utmost diligence to allow her to read them. Apart from writing something regularly related to me and my parents, I often resort to writing poems to convey my love and affection for most of my close friends.

But this post isn’t about my sporadic writing, with some making to my blogging space on WordPress, some getting shared in letters/greeting cards, and most of them remaining as a draft in my Dropbox folder. It is about my friend’s book that is a thoughtful compilation of regular letters written by her to her Mom, who is now up there in heaven beaming with pride and satisfaction of nurturing and raising her daughter with such a wonderful soul.

When Christine (a.k.a my Prawnyy) passed me a copy of her autographed book, holding it was enough to send chills down my spine. While one reason to feel the gravity of that book attributes to the fact that it is written by one of my closest friends. The other reason stems from the emotional sensitivity of being aware of her trials and tribulations, that my heart knew, would be unfolded in this book. There was also a high possibility of my own chords getting hit in the process of reading it. Christine and I have been friends for more than 5 years now and all these heightened emotions were thus, reasonable. Having said so, I was more than looking forward to reading this. One, because I am an admirer of Christine’s writing, following her write-ups on her websites. Two, because I wished to know more about her Mom, herself, and their strength to fight the odds, drawn collectively as a family. Third, because it might give me a perspective other than my own to deal with certain ‘life’ crises. And forth, when your friend publishes a book, you read it. Period.

Christine handed over this book to me when we met for our customary Christmas stroll (6th time this year), yet again down the lanes of Orchard. We weren’t exclusively impressed with this year’s decor. But we had an amazing time, as usual, that was well complemented with great food and several photos that went for display on our Instagram accounts. After our unwinding together, Christine accompanied me on the bus ride. I took out the book and started reading it immediately after she alighted few stops later to take another bus for her place while I continued with the same bus.

This book was much more than just being a chronicle of a loved one’s loss. It introduces to us her cheerful and strong Inay (as is lovingly called for Mom in Philippines), a practicing lawyer who never settled for less at work or at home and refused to quit her fight with her depreciating health. It showcases the purest and unconditional love of her Dad for his ailing wife. It talks about her younger brother who is in every bit a warrior in himself. It tells you how my friend donned the invisible cloak of responsibility during the toughest time with her own heap of vulnerability. While touching on the humanely struggles and failures while tackling one of the biggest challenges that life can throw at you, this book portrays the dynamics of a mother-daughter relationship in its most real form. Without painting any idealism around, the book finds the insecurities of a shy, teenage girl around a confident, inspiring mom. With certain intricacies of her love-hate situations with her mom over trivial issues, she faces the daunting changes in her family that’s accompanied with the testing times. With her eventual evolution into a more understanding and supportive daughter, she adapts myriad skills from her Mom and learns to deal with her weaknesses. With the final blow to the candle that for a moment, brought a lot of darkness with it, she holds on to her writing that gave her a place to keep her Mom’s memories alive and valid. And what an experience it has been to know about all these memoirs! I finished reading this in one go. The style of writing is easy to follow, and I only wished the book to be longer with more entries.

While I was at it, many a times I went back to think about Christine in 2013, whom I found, personality-wise, like me to some extent. Also, we were sailing in the same boat. Our parents were fighting their struggles back home and we were fighting our own far away from them. With this book, I got a chance to know more about Inay’s interesting personality. Her grit is something I would wish to inculcate within myself. She reminded me of my own Dad who fought his battle bravely and humbly and inspired many people around him. Speaking of Dads, I am extremely fond of Christine’s Dad who pronounces my name as ‘Saa-waa-ti’ and has always greeted me with some witty remark over text (via Christine) or in person. Perhaps, that has been the strongest tool at his disposal to deal with the extremely unnerving situations with calm and composure. This reminded me of my own Mom, who stood by my Dad while me and my brother was mostly away and took some instant decisions that saved my Dad’s life. Gab’s adaptation to handle the house when her big sister left for her taxing PhD journey was something that I saw in my brother too. It is a blessing to have these younger siblings who are the most annoying species at times (sorry, all little babies out there), yet the strongest pillars that one could ever hold on! And with Christine, I again reminded myself how lucky I am to be friends with her.  Being together, I tried to comfort her in her tough moments in my own possible ways. But at the end of the day, she had to be her own hero.  And all the agonies only made her stronger than ever. She helped me with my ordeals while going through her own. She managed to send letters to my parents too to pass them some of her strength. With so many odds, she successfully finished her PhD and made her Inay, Gab and Dad proud as ever. Forget the degree, she makes them proud always by just being a good human being with a huge and caring heart for everyone around her. Needless to say, she is one of the most empathetic and thoughtful person I know in my life.

This book is a daughter’s soulful tribute to her Mom. It also covers many spectra of love and relationship that I am not summarizing here since I do not intend to write a review, like I am doing these days at work anyway. Therefore, I politely request my other friends to read this one; not to necessarily appreciate the writer, but to understand how to make the best of what we have, good or bad. This book will offer something to everyone, I believe. While I take a piece of this book that will forever stay with me, I wish more power to my friend and everyone who are dealing with a lot on their plate. If I need to pick words that truly describe my take-aways from this book, I would say there are 3 of them: compassion, respect and gratitude, for what I have in life. Happy reading ❤

Links for the books:

Amazon: https://amzn.to/2DWrDFK

PDF file: https://bit.ly/2FU6yyw



हिन्द की अनेक भाषाओँ में एक हिंदी
संस्कृत से निकली, बनी एक मातृ-भाषा
बसी फिजी, मॉरिशस, और त्रिनिदाद में भी
और कुछ शब्दों को ‘loot’ कर हुआ अंग्रेजी का ‘avatar’ भी
चलो, लूटना न कह कर उधार लेना कह देते हैं
है अंग्रेज़ी भी भली, किन्तु उसके लिए हिंदी से बैर तो ज़रूरी नहीं?
आदतन तो बोलना ही दुर्लभ है, किन्तु बिलकुल अनजान होना भी तो सही नहीं?

पर मैं भी किसे बोलूं, खुद का अल्प-ज्ञान भी निन्दनिये है
बस, इसी में खुश हैं जब कोई यदा-कदा हिंदी में लेखन को सराह दे
अच्छा, अगर ये बातें पसंद न आएं तो परेशानी भी नहीं है
और यदि कोई गलती हो तो बताने में संकोच भी न करें

नहीं नहीं, किसी पे ‘impose’ नहीं कर रही कुछ

कुछ नहीं तो बस इसलिए पढ़ लें
की हम कुछ जानें, कुछ आप जान जाएं
कुछ नहीं तो बस इसलिए पढ़ लें
की कम-से-कम हिंदी-दिवस की थोड़ी शान बढ़ जाये
और नहीं तो केवल इसलिए पढ़ लें, की पढ़ने में चवन्नी भी नहीं देनी
वैसे अगर हिंदी भी ‘trendy‘ होती तो क्यों करती इतनी विनती
चलो, अपना हीं शब्दकोष बढ़िया करते हैं
क्या पता, इस अल्प-ज्ञान से हीं कुछ बात बन जाये |

चित्र स्रोत: http://bit.ly/2x53CJ0


Happy diwali~

The lights lit a bit dim

The smiles looked a tad worn

My happiness lies in you all

I ll be reborn, the day this storm calms down

My diwali will have the best sweets

The day Maa will have her relaxed moments

My diwali will get its perfect lights

When Paa will be all fit and back on track

My diwali will have its true meaning

The day my little brother gets the smile back

So much strength, how do you all get, Maa?

You are an inspiration, Oh you are my supermom!

I saw dad with all the will power

And my little brother, my star

For the tough times that were and are

I am amazed to see the kind of fighters we are

We don’t give up

Just a little halt, since the destination is too far

For the lights will once again be the brightest

For the moments will once again be the happiest

For we had it enough, we had it all

Let’s wipe it off

And pen down a new chapter all together

It will start getting better soon, was just a bad weather

And to say I miss you all is an understatement !!


                                                                   Happy diwali 🙂